The Technology Conundrum


I used to say that a bad day on the computer is better than a good day at work, but that was before I depended on a computer to eat. Okay, not like eat, but to put food on the table. If you don’t have the right tools, then you can’t do the job.

Now for the record, I am not what you would all a computer geek as I once was, but neither am I a newbie (the use of those two terms may date me, I know) but I know enough to realize that, as my father used to say, “You can’t make pork out of pig (fill in the blank this is a family blog).” The key to working from home is productivity, when you ain’t producing, you ain’t eating. Now that I actually have work trickling in, I need to up my game, as they say. Okay, pigs aren’t really game, but I think you get the idea. Now, where was I?

In the last week, I have realized it is time to upgrade from (as my friend and technology adviser Mike suggested) an Edsel to at least a Yugo. Unfortunately that is easier said than done, and where the technology conundrum enters the picture. You see, beginning way back to the time of the Edsel, the automotive industry began what they called “Planned Obsolescence”, basically they would design a model with the intention of making it obsolete in a few years so the owner would want to upgrade. The computer industry does the same thing, which leads to the trials and tribulations I went through today.

First, my financial consultant, Buttons the Wonder Dog, and I decided it really was in the best interest to upgrade our technology. We began searching for what we needed and that would fit into our very tight budget. There is only one thing harder than searching for new technology using old technology, and that is actually trying to buy it. I admit, the equipment I have been using is somewhat dated, in fact, during my search I learned that you don’t need a 3 1/2 inch floppy drive any more. But even with the inconvenience of having to really, really, bang on the C, V, and Q keys to get them to work, it really isn’t that bad. You would be surprised how many words with those letters in them may be substituted with others. After a long and tedious search process, I finally found one that would suit my needs and more importantly my budget.  Little did I realize that the search was going to be the easy part.

My technology adviser advised me on the one to buy and all I had to do was order it. In fact, using my PayPal account, I could order it with just one click. Fat chance. You see, when your computer is slow it takes a really long time to get anything in done. In act, I tried to place the order three times and each time the website timed me out with a message “This is taking longer than expected, please try again.” And that was it, back to the beginning.

I thought in this case the fourth time would be the charm because I figured out a plan. The main problem was the fact that it would take me so long to type in my information because of my defective keyboard. Never one to give up, I put everything into a Word file and all I had to do was cut and paste. I made sure everything was correctly typed, and I was ready. Everything went as planned until I was ready to submit my order to PayPal. Here comes another message, “We’re sorry but you don’t have enough money in your account or this transaction.” It seems I didn’t order one computer, I was up to four.  Every time I was bumped off, my order increased by one. This was my fourth time at the site, so I had four computers.

I guess I can get used to using my old equipment, after all, I’ll have time to catch up on the Maury and Springer shows. Just forgive the missing letters.



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